Comedian, TV host, producer, and author Chelsea Handler wrote five best-selling books without mentioning that her beloved oldest brother, Chet, had died in a mountain-climbing accident when she was nine.  In her poignant new memoir, Life Will Be the Death of Me, she talks about that loss.

Although Chet was 13 years older, he and Chelsea had a special bond, and his death affected every part of her life.  Yet she buried her grief and pain deep inside for more than 30 years.  It was the shock of Donald Trump’s victory — she’d always been a staunch feminist and was certain Hillary Clinton would win — that caused her to feel intense despair about every aspect of her life.  She knew she needed to deal with those things that were causing her pain, and her brother’s death was at the top of the list.

Chelsea was 42 when she sought the help of a skillful, empathetic psychiatrist named Dan.  After several therapy sessions, she felt comfortable enough to tell him about Chet.

Chelsea’s adored brother was the oldest of the six siblings;  she was the youngest.  Yet they had a special, close relationship.  “My brother would wrinkle his nose a lot when he was teasing me,” she says, “and then I’d crinkle my nose back — like we were on the show, Bewitched, minus the sound effects.”

In the summer, the family would go to Martha’s Vineyard, and he’d take her sailing on a Sunfish sailboat.  At some point — you never knew when — Chet would tip the boat over, and whoever was in the boat ended in the water.  Almost immediately, he’d tip the boat back on its right side and lift her out of the water and back into the boat.

When Chet told her he was heading out west to hike in the Grand Tetons, Chelsea asked him why he had to go.  He promised her he’d be back in two weeks.  “You won’t even know I’m gone.”

At the funeral, Chelsea remembers feeling livid.  “Why not be careful when you’re on a . . . mountain peak if you promised your littlest sister that you would spend the rest of the summer tipping her over in a sailboat?”

Toward the end of therapy, Chelsea realizes why she avoids having a loving, romantic relationship.  It is Chelsea’s “aha” moment when she recognizes why she never allowed it to happen.  That moment also enables her to realize there are things she can do to make the world a better place.  Her personal call to action is one that readers can also embrace.