On Sunday, March 19, 1989, The Record — Bergen County, New Jersey’s daily newspaper — published the feature “When a Young Sibling Dies” on the front page of its Home section.  The story included a large color photo of me holding childhood snapshots, details of the anger and pain I’d suffered after her death, and resources for bereaved siblings locally and nationally.  It was the first time I’d “gone public” about my loss and its ramifications.

For twenty years after Ruth had died, I’d kept my feelings buried inside.  Seeing the movie, Ordinary People, unearthed these feelings and made me realize I needed professional help if I wanted to lead a full, productive life.  I began group therapy, did research on the effects of childhood illness and death on surviving siblings, and attended a national sibling loss workshop in St. Louis, Missouri, and a therapeutic sibling loss weekend in Chicago.  All these activities helped in my recovery,  but the Chicago workshop at The Rothman-Cole Center for Sibling Loss (now The Center for Grief Recovery and Therapeutic Services) was especially effective.

Early in 1989, the Rothman-Cole Center’s director, Jerry Rothman, asked me to help publicize a grief recovery workshop they were holding in the Spring.  I wrote a letter to several daily newspapers about my experience at a prior workshop and how it had impacted my life.  A week after mailing the letters I made follow-up phone calls.  At The Record, I spoke to the managing editor, Lindy Washburn.  She told me they’d like to do a feature on childhood sibling loss spotlighting my story and including information on where bereaved siblings could get help.  I was stunned.

The following week, staff writer Mary Amoroso interviewed me, and photographer Al Paglione took photos.  Two weeks later, Mary called me to tell me the article would be in the Sunday paper.

After the story was published, I was amazed at how many people had read it.  People I knew stopped me on the street, and several acquaintances called to reveal that they had lost a sibling growing up and had never told anyone.   In my memoir, I write about the story’s impact in greater detail.  It was a big turning point in my life, and I celebrate the 30th anniversary of its publication.