Childhood Sibling Loss

Did you lose a sibling growing up?

If so, you may have pushed any emotional reaction deep down inside and focused on your parents’ grief. You went on with your life as an automaton, knowing you were hurting inside, but ignored any feelings you had because it was too painful, or you were too angry, or any one of a dozen other reasons. You could almost pull it off — getting on with your life and not dealing with your loss — until someone mentioned their sister or brother in either a loving or hateful way. Or someone asked you if you have any siblings and you either said no or replied a bit too quickly, “I had a sister but she died when we were teenagers,” and quickly changed the subject.

About the Book

Remembering Ruth, A Memoir of Childhood Sibling Loss, is my effort to tell my story to help other bereaved siblings and make people aware that the death of a sibling at any age is a major loss that needs to be dealt with — but the death of a young sibling is particularly poignant and painful. For one thing, the surviving child often loses his parents as well. They are incredibly heartbroken and usually can’t deal with your loss as well as their own.

Someone has to be an advocate for you, allow you to cry on their shoulder, and give you the warmth, love, and understanding that your mom and dad are incapable of giving you because of their own enormous loss.